More than a memory
by Ascended Angel
Summary: Sad songfic about how Jacob felt after eclipse. I own nothing1 Garth Brooks owns the song More than a memory.


People say she's only in my head  
It's gonna take time but I'll forget  
they say I need to get on with my life  
they don't realize

"_Jake just forget about her, you are too good for her, forget about her." Quil insisted as I just stared out the window. _

"_You don't get it. I love her. " Was all I said_  
it's when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone

_I had tried to call her a thousand times, but I always got stuck on the last number. _

"_Just suck it up and call." I could always hear Bella say as if she was standing right beside me. _  
Driving cross town just to see if she's home

_I rode in my rabbit past her house so many times; all I ever saw was that filthy bloodsucker standing in the doorway waiting for her. I wanted to lunge at him and kill him for what he wants to do to my Bella. _  
Waking a friend in the dead of the night  
just to hear him say it's gonna be alright

"_Jacob it is two o'clock in the morning, what's wrong?" Embry's tired voice said over the phone._

"_I just can't let her go, I can't. I feel like I am going insane!" I nearly yelled over the phone. _

"_Jacob, you are going to be okay. Forget about her, you will find someone better." Embry said before he hung up the phone. _  
When you're finding things to do not fall asleep  
Cause you know she'll be there in your dreams

_After Bella choose Edward, I started to chop wood under the stars. Just so I wouldn't fall asleep, despite me being a werewolf after a while my hands would start to bleed. I have a bunch of pink scars on my hands._  
That's when she's  
more than a memory

Took a match to everything she ever wrote  
watched her words go up in smoke

_Every damn letter she ever wrote to me, even the wedding invitation went into the fire place. I just watched as the paper crumbled into ash and then I just watched the flames. _  
Tore all her pictures off the wall  
that ain't helping me at all

"_I HATE YOU BELLA SWAN!!" I screamed at the pictures of her I had on my bedroom wall. _

_I ripped all of the pictures from my wall and tore them to pieces. Then I curled up in ball and cried. I don't hate her, I can never hate her. _

'Cause when you're talking out loud and nobody is there

"_You are right, I am nothing, but a no good dog! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!" I screamed to an empty room. _  
You look like hell and you just don't care  
you're drinking more than you ever drank

_I stole beer from my dad and just drank beer after beer. With every sip I felt numb. I succumbed to the numbness of the alcohol. _  
And sinking down lower than you ever sank  
When you find yourself falling down upon your knees  
praying to God, begging him "please"

"_God if you have any mercy towards my kind please let her come back to me before it is too late. Please!" I prayed. I was on my knees in the middle of the forest. I couldn't let my dad see me like this anymore. He was about to take me to a therapist _  
that's when she's  
more than a memory

She's more  
She's more

Cause when you're dialing her number just to hang up the phone  
Driving cross town just to see if she's home

_I no longer call her, I no longer go by her house, she is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. _  
Waking a friend in the dead of the night  
just to hear him say it's gonna be alright

_The Pack will not answer the phone when I call them at night, I know what they are thinking "Its been a year, let her go already!" _  
When you're finding things to do not fall asleep  
Cause you know she's waiting in your dreams

_When ever I do sleep I have the same dream over and over again. Bella is standing in the pale moonlight. She is a filthy bloodsucker. "Sorry Jake, it had to be this way." She would say before sinking her teeth into my neck. _  
that's when she's  
more than a memory

People say she's only in my head  
It's gonna take time but I'll forget  
but when she's in every minute of every day  
every thought i think  
every breath i take

_It hurts to even breathe, I see her in every girl who looks my way. _  
She's everywhere and she's everything

_Bella will never be mine, but I will always be a slave to her memory. For the rest of my life I will have to go on wondering what could have been, what should have been. _

She's more than a memory

* * *

Sad huh? what do you think?


End file.
